Another Surgery

My heart is full of anxiety as I write this post tonight. Zachary is having surgery this Wednesday, July 18, to repair the hole in his stomach where his G-tube was. Unfortunately they can't just put in a few stitches because of the stomach has fused to the skin. So, the surgeon will go in and separate them and then stitch the stomach up and then stitch the skin up. The surgery will take about an hour and then we will have to stay overnight at Doernbecher for monitoring. Hopefully all will go well and this will be a quick and easy recovery!

As I think back to where I was almost a year ago when Z went in to have the G-tube placed, I am in such a completely different place. I think I was kind of numb about it all last year, whereas this year, I get teary just thinking about the moment when I have to say goodbye and leave him with the surgical team. It is utterly heart-wrenching! I don't even know how I am going to handle that moment, I just know that I have to hold it together for as long as he can see me, otherwise, he will really freak out! I don't want him to be any more scared then he is going to be, so I hope that I can remain calm and collected.

I've also been kind of in denial about this whole thing, hoping and praying that it would close up on its own. It wasn't until yesterday that I realized he is actually having surgery and there is nothing we can do about it now. I mean, other than never having surgery and making him where gauze on his stomach for the rest of his life (which I momentarily considered). I know this will be better and this is what I want. We can finally close this chapter and move on, gauze free =). It's just going to be hard.

So if you can keep our family and especially him in your prayers that day, we would really appreciate it. We'll update again once he is out of surgery and let you know how he's doing =)